Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Slow Fade

This is for Elisha Reagan and Ryan. May no one else hurt you again.=)


This song is so powerful... how many families have crumbled... how many daddies have left. It is such a slow fade. It isnt like one morning a man wakes up and decides he is going to walk away from his family. It starts with an attraction to someone.. then a smile returned from that person, then a conversation that goes a little to long. Then it turns into texts and calls... trying to hide it and then lying. It starts so innocent. So when should he have known that he was falling over the edge. It is hard to say... but I would say the moment you are attracted and can feel any sort of emotion above a friendly level. There are going to be times that you are attracted to someone else. It is human nature but when you long for that person. When you see them you feel happier, when you talk to them you have butterflies. That is the time that you need to walk away. There was a time that your wife made you feel that way, she still should. But once you get those happy feelings with this other woman... that is when you start to see the faults in your spouse. She isnt as pretty, she isn't as skinny, she doesnt nag me, she does all these fun things. That is how you saw your wife before your lives got involved. Like the song says it is a slow fade... Daddy used to be here everyday, then he was gone 3 nights a week working late, then he was home every once in a while.... and eventually he is gone. It is a sick sad world that this happens... but it does everyday.

The devil is more cunning than anyone can imagine. All he needs is one foot in the door and then he is like a theif and will push his way into your house. He is a seducer, he is a dancer, he waltzes with you..."she is pretty" "wow I can't believe she was talking to me" "I think she is flirting with me" "hmm I will tell my wife I was talking to Bill... she will never find out" "I bet we could meet up out of town, I am sure I can get away for a day".... this is how it goes. It is a dance and you think if you just dance on that edge you will be fine. You would never go that far.... I dont think anyone who is cheating meant for it to go that far. But it does.

This is out of The Message Bible

Proverbs 5
1-2 Dear friend, pay close attention to this, my wisdom; listen very closely to the way I see it. Then you'll acquire a taste for good sense; what I tell you will keep you out of trouble.

3-6 The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth.But it won't be long before she's gravel in your mouth, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.She's dancing down the primrose path to Death; she's headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.She hasn't a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she's going.

7-14 So, my friend, listen closely; don't treat my words casually.Keep your distance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.You don't want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life among the hardhearted.Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you? You don't want to end your life full of regrets, nothing but sin and bones,Saying, "Oh, why didn't I do what they told me? Why did I reject a disciplined life?Why didn't I listen to my mentors, or take my teachers seriously? My life is ruined! I haven't one blessed thing to show for my life!"

15-16 Do you know the saying, "Drink from your own rain barrel, draw water from your own spring-fed well"?It's true. Otherwise, you may one day come home and find your barrel empty and your well polluted.

17-20 Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers.Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—don't ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?

21-23 Mark well that God doesn't miss a move you make; he's aware of every step you take.The shadow of your sin will overtake you; you'll find yourself stumbling all over yourself in the dark.Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Overcoming... from a somewhat guest blogger

My boss/coworker/friend/surrogate dad in NC Mike received a word from God the night before last for me. I will not write everything that he had told me but I will put some excerpts...



You name came to my mind along with the word "Overcoming". You have had many trials in the 29 years that you have lived. For many years you tried to overcome these trials under your own power, strength , and wisdom. In recent years you have realized the futility of human wisdom in these circumstances and have started to trust God with your trials. By trusting God, you are seeing that His wisdom and particularly his timing is always best. The name God has given you is Overcoming... not Overcomer because you are still a work in progress. There are wounds that you carry that still need to be healed and not covered over. Forgiveness is especially important for you to both understand and to show. Because of the faith you are demonstrating in your life through your tirals and as a witness for Christ to others, God will continue to help you to overcome. God has given you the type of personality to draw people to you and to enjoy to be around you. God wants to use that gift for you to show Him to others. He wants you to be his mirror whereever you are, at home, at work and even on the soccer field. God's words found in the scriptures will be the anchor that will stabilize you when things get rough.



I am always excited to hear what God says to others about me. It is a nice verification of what God tells me. I know that I still have alot of stuff still to overcome. But to look back at the person I was before I was saved.... and the person I am now....There is no resemblence. That Susie is gone. When I was baptized... I rose again and have never wanted to be the person I was. I am a Christian first, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend.... these are my life titles. And I constantly try to strive to live up to all of them. Do I fail at times?... yes of course, but that will never stop me from trying to be the best at everything I am.

I was read the book of The Revelation last night and Apostle John was told to write a letter to each church... and this is in the end of each letter..

To Ephesus
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.
To Smyrna
He who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death.
To Pergamum
To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.
To Thyatira
To him who overcomes and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations— He will rule them with an iron scepter; he will dash them to pieces like pottery - just as I have received authority from my Father. I will also give him the morning star.
To Sardis
Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels.
To Philadelphia
Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name.
To Laodicea
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

I shall overcome... even if I only get one of these blessings to these churches! To all who I have sinned against I am truely repentant, those who have sinned against me... you are totally forgiven. And for those who I sin against often I would like for God to assist me in the release of the pain and anger I feel against you. My main sin is to love my enemies as I love myself. I pray for their salvation often and hope one day we will walk side by side in heaven by our Lord.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Worry

I have always been a worrier. I would worry about everything, what people thought of me, what would happen to me if... what would happen about this, how am I going to pay for this or that. As I worried nothing was accomplished. Nothing was gained except me having a insecure notion that I may be able to change what was going to happen. I have gotten better with this lately, I have have just come to accept what will happen... will happen and I have faith that God will not give or take anything that I can not handle. God gives me scriptures to guide me thru life and to hold on to in times of storms. I have Psalms 37 printed out and it is hanging right by my desk... so anytime I get worried or have any doubt in the ways I am going I look at it and remember the promises it stands for. I will NOT be bullied, I will NOT be worried, I WILL live with my head held high and know that the things of the earth are fleeting, including the worrying I have done in my life. The things I worried about have come and gone and all I did was cause myself to be sad or anxious. But that will happen no longer.

Phillipians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

God does not disappoint!

Romans 5:3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

I will rejoice for the way my children are used as pawns against me to make me suffer. Because I have hope in God and He does not disappoint.



Psalms 37: 1 Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;

do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Words of a Real President

These United States are confronted with an economic affliction of great proportions. We suffer from the longest and one of the worst sustained inflations in our national history. It distorts our economic decisions, penalizes thrift, and crushes the struggling young and the fixed-income elderly alike. It threatens to shatter the lives of millions of our people.


Idle industries have cast workers into unemployment, human misery, and personal indignity. Those who do work are denied a fair return for their labor by a tax system which penalizes successful achievement and keeps us from maintaining full productivity.


But great as our tax burden is, it has not kept pace with public spending. For decades we have piled deficit upon deficit, mortgaging our future and our children's future for the temporary convenience of the present. To continue this long trend is to guarantee tremendous social, cultural, political, and economic upheavals.


You and I, as individuals, can, by borrowing, live beyond our means, but for only a limited period of time. Why, then, should we think that collectively, as a nation, we're not bound by that same limitation? We must act today in order to preserve tomorrow. And let there be no misunderstanding: We are going to begin to act, beginning today.


The economic ills we suffer have come upon us over several decades. They will not go away in days, weeks, or months, but they will go away. They will go away because we as Americans have the capacity now, as we've had in the past, to do whatever needs to be done to preserve this last and greatest bastion of freedom.


In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. From time to time we've been tempted to believe that society has become too complex to be managed by self-rule, that government by an elite group is superior to government for, by, and of the people. Well, if no one among us is capable of governing himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else? All of us together, in and out of government, must bear the burden. The solutions we seek must be equitable, with no one group singled out to pay a higher price.


We hear much of special interest groups. Well, our concern must be for a special interest group that has been too long neglected. It knows no sectional boundaries or ethnic and racial divisions, and it crosses political party lines. It is made up of men and women who raise our food, patrol our streets, man our mines and factories, teach our children, keep our homes, and heal us when we're sick--professionals, industrialists, shopkeepers, clerks, cabbies, and truck drivers. They are, in short, "we the people," this breed called Americans.


Well, this administration's objective will be a healthy, vigorous, growing economy that provides equal opportunities for all Americans, with no barriers born of bigotry or discrimination. Putting America back to work means putting all Americans back to work. Ending inflation means freeing all Americans from the terror of runaway living costs. All must share in the productive work of this "new beginning," and all must share in the bounty of a revived economy. With the idealism and fair play which are the core of our system and our strength, we can have a strong and prosperous America, at peace with itself and the world.


So, as we begin, let us take inventory. We are a nation that has a government--not the other way around. And this makes us special among the nations of the Earth. Our government has no power except that granted it by the people. It is time to check and reverse the growth of government, which shows signs of having grown beyond the consent of the governed.


It is my intention to curb the size and influence of the federal establishment and to demand recognition of the distinction between the powers granted to the federal government and those reserved to the states or to the people. All of us need to be reminded that the federal government did not create the states; the states created the federal government.


Now, so there will be no misunderstanding, it's not my intention to do away with government. It is rather to make it work--work with us, not over us; to stand by our side, not ride on our back. Government can and must provide opportunity, not smother it; foster productivity, not stifle it.

If we look to the answer as to why for so many years we achieved so much, prospered as no other people on earth, it was because here in this land we unleashed the energy and individual genius of man to a greater extent than has ever been done before. Freedom and the dignity of the individual have been more available and assured here than in any other place on earth. The price for this freedom at times has been high, but we have never been unwilling to pay the price.

It is no coincidence that our present troubles parallel and are proportionate to the intervention and intrusion in our lives that result from unnecessary and excessive growth of government. It is time for us to realize that we're too great a nation to limit ourselves to small dreams. We're not, as some would have us believe, doomed to an inevitable decline. I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing. So, with all the creative energy at our command, let us begin an era of national renewal. Let us renew our determination, our courage, and our strength. And let us renew our faith and our hope.


We have every right to dream heroic dreams. Those who say that we're in a time when there are no heroes, they just don't know where to look. You can see heroes every day going in and out of factory gates. Others, a handful in number, produce enough food to feed all of us and then the world beyond. You meet heroes across a counter, and they're on both sides of that counter. There are entrepreneurs with faith in themselves and faith in an idea who create new jobs, new wealth and opportunity. They're individuals and families whose taxes support the government and whose voluntary gifts support church, charity, culture, art, and education. Their patriotism is quiet, but deep. Their values sustain our national life.


Now, I have used the words "they" and "their" in speaking of these heroes. I could say "you" and "your," because I'm addressing the heroes of whom I speak--you, the citizens of this blessed land. Your dreams, your hopes, your goals are going to be the dreams, the hopes, and the goals of this administration, so help me God.


We shall reflect the compassion that is so much a part of your makeup. How can we love our country and not love our countrymen; and loving them, reach out a hand when they fall, heal them when they're sick, and provide opportunity to make them self-sufficient so they will be equal in fact and not just in theory?


Can we solve the problems confronting us? Well, the answer is an unequivocal and emphatic "yes." To paraphrase Winston Churchill, I did not take the oath I've just taken with the intention of presiding over the dissolution of the world's strongest economy.


In the days ahead I will propose removing the roadblocks that have slowed our economy and reduced productivity. Steps will be taken aimed at restoring the balance between the various levels of government. Progress may be slow, measured in inches and feet, not miles, but we will progress. It is time to reawaken this industrial giant, to get government back within its means, and to lighten our punitive tax burden. And these will be our first priorities, and on these principles there will be no compromise.


On the eve of our struggle for independence a man who might have been one of the greatest among the Founding Fathers, Dr. Joseph Warren, president of the Massachusetts Congress, said to his fellow Americans, "Our country is in danger, but not to be despaired of . . . On you depend the fortunes of America. You are to decide the important questions upon which rests the happiness and the liberty of millions yet unborn. Act worthy of yourselves." Well, I believe we, the Americans of today, are ready to act worthy of ourselves, ready to do what must be done to ensure happiness and liberty for ourselves, our children, and our children's children. And as we renew ourselves here in our own land, we will be seen as having greater strength throughout the world. We will again be the exemplar of freedom and a beacon of hope for those who do not now have freedom.


To those neighbors and allies who share our freedom, we will strengthen our historic ties and assure them of our support and firm commitment. We will match loyalty with loyalty. We will strive for mutually beneficial relations. We will not use our friendship to impose on their sovereignty, for our own sovereignty is not for sale. As for the enemies of freedom, those who are potential adversaries, they will be reminded that peace is the highest aspiration of the American people. We will negotiate for it, sacrifice for it; we will not surrender for it, now or ever.


Our forbearance should never be misunderstood. Our reluctance for conflict should not be misjudged as a failure of will. When action is required to preserve our national security, we will act. We will maintain sufficient strength to prevail if need be, knowing that if we do so we have the best chance of never having to use that strength. Above all, we must realize that no arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have. It is a weapon that we as Americans do have. Let that be understood by those who practice terrorism and prey upon their neighbors. I'm told that tens of thousands of prayer meetings are being held on this day, and for that I'm deeply grateful. We are a nation under God, and I believe God intended for us to be free. It would be fitting and good, I think, if on each Inaugural Day in future years it should be declared a day of prayer.


This is the first time in our history that this ceremony has been held, as you've been told, on the West Front of the Capitol. Standing here, one faces a magnificent vista, opening up on the city's special beauty and history. At the end of this open mall are those shrines to the giants on whose shoulders we stand.


Directly in front of me, the monument to a monumental man, George Washington, father of our country. A man of humility who came to greatness reluctantly. He led Americans out of revolutionary victory into infant nationhood. Off to one side, the stately memorial to Thomas Jefferson. The Declaration of Independence flames with his eloquence. And then, beyond the Reflecting Pool, the dignified columns of the Lincoln Memorial. Whoever would understand in his heart the meaning of America will find it in the life of Abraham Lincoln.


Beyond those monuments to heroism is the Potomac River, and on the far shore the sloping hills of Arlington National Cemetery, with its row upon row of simple white markers bearing crosses of Stars of David. They add up to only a tiny fraction of the price that has been paid for our freedom. Each one of those markers is a monument to the kind of hero I spoke of earlier. Their lives ended in places called Belleau Wood, the Argonne, Omaha Beach, Salerno, and halfway around the world on Guadalcanal, Tarawa, Pork Chop Hill, the Chosin Reservoir, and in a hundred rice paddies and jungles of a place called Vietnam.


Under one such marker lies a young man, Martin Treptow, who left his job in a small town barbershop in 1917 to go to France with the famed Rainbow Division. There, on the western front, he was killed trying to carry a message between battalions under heavy artillery fire.
We're told that on his body was found a diary. On the flyleaf under the heading "My Pledge," he had written these words: "America must win this war. Therefore I will work, I will save, I will sacrifice, I will endure, I will fight cheerfully and do my utmost, as if the issue of the whole struggle depended on me alone."


The crisis we are facing today does not require of us the kind of sacrifice that Martin Treptow and so many thousands of others were called upon to make. It does require, however, our best effort and our willingness to believe in ourselves and to believe in our capacity to perform great deeds, to believe that together with God's help we can and will resolve the problems which now confront us.


And after all, why shouldn't we believe that? We are Americans.
God bless you, and thank you.



Ronald Reagan

January 20, 1981





I watched this on youtube it is awesome. The words of a great president who knew the problems standing in front of this nation. And there was not doom and gloom. It was optimism and a solid plan. I could only pray that after this democratic disaster of a presidency that there will be a man as great as this waiting in the wings to lift our wonderful nation up. To remind us all exactly why we are all so proud to be American.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Josh and Kim

Josh and Kim have been in Alabama for about 10 days. I have missed them so much. It is so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of life to not realize how much you take for granted the time you have with your loved ones. Josh is a cuddler he has to be right next to me at night with his arms around me. I am a non-snuggler... I want to go to sleep and be free to toss and turn. I often let him fall asleep and then push for him to roll over for me to get to sleep. But then when he is gone for more than just a day or two... I am missing and wanting him to be there. I guess it is just human nature to have something drive you crazy but then to miss it so much when it isnt there. :)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Faith of my Fathers

This is a book about John McCain's grandfather, father and his captivity in a POW camp. This book is so good. I can barely put it down. The torture that Senator McCain went thru is unthinkable. He was injured by the ejection of his exploding plane. His right arm was broke in 3 places and his left in 2. His leg was broke and it was so bad that his foot was resting next to his knee. When the North Vietnamese found out he was an Admiral's son.... it was then that he was given medical treatment. Even then the treatment he received was not what you would receive here in the US they didnt know how to set his arm properly and when they did they did not give him any pain medication. They put it in a cast that was not lined with cotton and the plaster dug holes thru his skin all the way to the bone. He has a serious case of dysentary and was left in his own throw up and other waste. During all of this he continued to love and honor his country and fellow service men. He was given the chance to go home numerous times. But he did not give in b/c the code was first in first out. It is just amazing to me... it is human nature to save yourself before you would save others. Whether or not you agree with his politics you should at least respect him for the injuries, abuse, and disrespect he received on the behalf of being a service member of our great nation.

Love is...
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